How Bollywood Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations Of Love

The root of any relationship is bound to be strong if it is bonded by true love. In our Indian society, love has a major influence from Bollywood. People born in 80s can vouch on how TV and Cinema has changed over decades and have influenced the youth when we talk about love. The millennial generation has access to  Bollywood music and movies 24/7. With legendry love stories like Diwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and the Khans doing their magic on their screen, relationships are deeply influenced and the expectations among any couple is very filmy.

Are these expectations realistic or just dramatic?

I remember when I was studying engineering, the guys and girls  around me were always trying to impress each other in some or the other way. Be it the Akshay Kumar’s Khiladi influence which made rose day a big day in our college. There would be girls who would be showered with red roses making them the rose queen and girls who would be sulking with just white rose. Guys trying to impress by dressing up with raised color shirts copying Aamir Khan in Dil and so on and so forth. Accelerating the bikes to gain attention or smoking and what not. 

Impressing a girl the bollywood way is just the beginning of a relationship that will be expected to nurture further with similar expectations. Well something similar happened with me. I was impressed by the way my boyfriend dressed up like Shahrukh Khan and the way he hid those secret admiration cards and surprised me with gifts. The way he proposed me and I said a yes was no less than the typical bollywood style. After two years of romantic courtship we got married and things started becoming more realistic. My Shahrukh kind a boyfriend turned into a Manoj Kumar kinda husband in two years. Life became mundane and there were no more surprises on birthdays, just simple dinner , no regular gifts and no chocolate kind a affair anywhere. It was all about owning responsibilities, sharing chores and running a house.

My expectation of a forever romantic hero in life seemed to change further once there were kids in life. I would look at young couples and feel jealous. I would hear about budding love stories and feel dejected. Well, this did lead me to depression for a while before I met my college buddy and realised that the grass is always greener on the other side. Bollywood only shows the lovey dovey side of a relationship, maybe only till the point where the couple gets married. The definition of live changes post marriage.

Buying gifts and giving surprises is not the kind of love a couple would mature with. While they still can be part of this life but then in a marriage love propers with maturity and understanding. Small gestures like giving helping hand, sharing parenting duties, understanding unspoken feelings is all that makes the relationship romantic.

So for the young Aamir Khans & Ranbir Kapoors, all the Deepika Padukones & Alia Bhatts, be realistic in love. Do not set unrealistic expectations in your relationship. Be yourself and accept your partner for what he or she is. Don’t see a hero or heroine in your partner. Accept them in their original form and skin. After all the candy floss bollywood style love is for entertainment!