What Not To Say to A Parent Of Twins!

As a mother of twins, I always feel like the centre of attraction wherever I go. Frankly, I don’t mind it, and now over almost 2 years, I think it’ll rather surprise me if that kind of attention is not showered on us!

What bothers me more often than not, is their questions and unsolicited advice and suggestions that come even when it’s not welcome. Let me get you a glimpse of my Stardom struck conversations, with answers (I wish I could give), but I don’t:

Q1. (When I was pregnant) wow! That’s a huge belly – can I touch it?
Answer: Abso-freaking-lutely Not! Why would you want to touch my belly??!

Q.2. In dono me se “BADA” kon hai? (Who is the elder among the two?)
Answer: How are they twins if one is Bada'(elder) and one is Chota (younger)? This one is the question I hate most. I often end up saying, so and so was “born first”. This answer helps me answer their question without answering their question!

Q3. Are they identical?
Answer: Ok this one I’ll give it to them, because most people don’t know the other kind. So when you say, no they are fraternal (Non-identical), they get awestruck sometimes!

Q4. (This one’s Epic) Are they twins?
Answer: Nahi, ek parking lot me mil raha tha (No, I found one in the parking lot), absolutely free!!! Want one? The offer is still open.

Q5. I really wanted to have twins, but I did not!
Answer: Umm… What do you want me to do? Tell you how “I DID IT”? SHeehh!!

Q6. Are they Natural Twins?
Answer: Sorry? What are unnatural twins in the first place? Well anyways, they are not natural, one is plastic, and the other is fiber.

Q7. Ek Mujhe De do, Paal kar ke wapas Kar dungi, ya tum Do do kaise sambhaalogi, Mai ek le leti hu? (Give one to me, I will raise him and return to you, how will you mange two. I will take one!)
Answer: Yup, I’m nothing but a baby production and distribution centre – come, take as many as you want! What the hell! How do some people even want to have your baby for them?

Q8. Ye ek saath rote hai? (Do they cry together?) Ek saath Sote hai? (Do they sleep together?)
Answer: Haann… (Yes) Absolutely! Haven’t you seen the Movie Judwa with Salman Khan in a double role? That’s exactly how it happens. If one throws a punch, the other does too, if one kisses his girl friend, the other does too! Seriously!! I swear!! [Face palm!!]

Q9. Oh, Both Boys? If you had one boy and one girl, your family would’ve been complete! Don’t you wish there was a girl? Or don’t you miss having a baby girl? Do try for a third baby, I’m sure it’ll be a girl!
Answer: Yeah, thanks for doing my family planning for me, I personally am incapable of doing that. And yeah, I miss a complete family – how can a family be complete with one husband and two baby boys – Male Female ratio is horrible!

Q10. How do you breastfeed them? Do you feed them both together? (And then they chuckle like a mad cow)
Answer: Yes, would you mind elaborating on how is that any of your business?

Q11. How do you manage them both? Isn’t it very difficult?
Answer: Well this one is usually out of concern, so I often tell them, that it’s not a choice, it’s a gift… the one who gave them to me helps me manage them! (And by this I mean both, God as well as my Husband :P)

Q12. My kids are just 10 months apart. You have no idea how difficult it is. I have raised them like twins!
Answer: Yes absolutely, I have no idea, any day having kids ten months apart is more difficult than having twins – said no twin mom ever!!!
Well… here it is… to all my readers, I have very well chalked down a list of what NOT to say to a parent of twins! Let me know in your comments if you have heard any such silly things from other people!